Lisa, who is my coworker at the travel agency where we're both em-ployed, had a customer whose trip was a complete fiasco from start to finish.She was going to write him a letter of apology, but wasn't sure how to begin.I reminded her of a similar experience that one of my custo-
mers had the previous year, and dug out the letter I'd written for him so she could use it as an example.Handing it to her, I said, "All you have to do is change the details: the date, the trip info, and the name."Lisa glanced at it, chuckled and shook her head. Then she looked up at me and said, "We won't even have to change the name."
Another travel complaint
On very first day of school
My daughter was six and excited about learning all the wonderfulthings about the world that grade opne students learn.She turned to me one day and asked, "Mom, back in the old days when you were a kid, had they learned how to make the wheel yet?"
I replied, "No, Sweetie, back then we were just grateful to have fire."
Sign on a door:Push. If that doesn't work. Pull.If that doesn't work, we're closed.
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4 Wash / Dry Bays OPEN 24/71 Larger Bay for RVs, Trucks & BoatsVacuum, Shampoo, Fragrance & Vending MachinesChange Machine & ATM On Site!Detail Services Available
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Fill in every row, column and 3x3 box with the numbers 1 to 9 each number must appear in each row, column and 3x3 box only onceplease find solution on page 4
After nearly 20 years of bringing laughter and good cheer to the Sunshine Coast it is with a great deal of thought and consideration that due to increasing mobility issues, time constraints and other situations we have decided it’s time to make some changes.One option would be moving Good Morning Sunshine to a comp-
letely online format. Possibly with flipping pages that would give the look of a real magazine. The jokes and puzzles that all have come to know and love will continue to be accessible each week via an html page you can view on any device any time anywhere!Without the constraints of a printed issue we can look at new possibilities like video clips, perhaps an events section, we are still looking into what we can do.Our chosen option will be to maintain a small number of printed issues in just a few prime but easy-access locations along with the new on-line format similar to what we are currently doing.
•Greater circulation an on-line publication can be viewed by anyone with access to the internet no matter where or when so we can reach a much wider audience. It will be cross browser compliant so you reach people no matter whether they are using a computer, tablet or phone, Windows, Apple, or Android.•Interactive Ads An ad can be made clickable so readers can be directed to your website, or can open an e-mail to your e-mail address.•Full Colour In an on-line issue advertisers can take advantage of full colour photo and graphics to make their message stand out!•Social Media Sharing People love to share Good Morning Sunshine! and we intend to make it easy for them to share and your ads get shared along with it!
A few slight changes
It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed.My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home. "It's for my cousin," she apologized, "who's eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore."I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered"Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her."The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mommy!" She shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"
"If life was fair, Elvis would be alive and all the impersonators would be dead." -Johnny Carson
"The day I worry about cleaning my house is the day Sears comes out with a riding vacuum cleaner." - Roseanne
A man told the ringmaster that he was interested in joining the circus as a lion tamer.The ringmaster asked if he had any experience and the man said, "Why, yes. My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world, and he taught me everything he knew.""Really?" said the ringmaster. "Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?"
"Yes he did," the man replied."And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?""As a matter of fact, yes he did," the man replied."And have you ever stuck your head in a lion's mouth?""Just once," the man replied.The ringmaster asked, "Why only once?"And the man said, "I was looking for my father."
Circus lion tamer
What’s so scary about test?
At the company I work for, employees are required to take an annual skin test for tuberculosis.I had just gone for mine and was explaining the requirement to a young hiree.Then I started teasing him, comp-laining that the test was painful and
pointing to the mark on my arm.The young man was trying to figure out whether I was joking when the nurse walked in to escort him to the testing room.As they made their way down the hall I heard her shout, "Dead man walking!"
Working for a judge in a common pleas court, I saw many criminaldefendants. One man facing drug charges proved unusually helpful.To determine the exact quantity of the illegal substance allegedlysold, the judge asked the prosecutor
how many grams there are in an ounce.As both attorneys checked their notes, the defendant, who had not yet entered his plea, proudly announced, "There are 28.3 grams in an ounce, your honor."His attorney advised him to plead guilty.
Being just too helpful
On her forty-first birthday, a woman received, among other presents, an extravagantly expensive wrinkle-removing cream from her teenage daughter."And what did she give you last year?" a guest asked the mom.Her reply without hesitation was: "The wrinkles!"
"The problem with the designated driver program, it's not a desirable job. But if you ever get sucked into doing it, have fun with it. At the end of the night, just drop them off at the wrong house."- Jeff Foxworthy
On a Sunday morning a mother knocks on her son's bedroom door and tells him it's time to get up and go to church."I'm not going to church this morning," the son says."You have to get up and go to church," says mother."No, I'm not." says the son."Yes you are," says the mother."No, I'm not. They don't like me and I don't like them." says the son."Give me two good reasons why I have to go.""Number one, you're 55 years old and number two, you're the pastor!"
Two guys sat down for lunch in the office cafeteria."Hey, whatever happened to Pete in payroll?"one asked."He got this harebrained notion he was going to build a new kind of car," his co-worker replied."How was he going to do it?""He took an engine from a Pontiac, tires from a Chevy, seats from a Lincoln, hubcaps from Caddy and, well, you get the idea.""So what did he end up with?""Ten years to twenty-five."
Seen in the parking lot of a brand new department store, painted on the ground at a crosswalk in letters 4 feet tall: YELDClose, but not close enough. I drove through the following week and found it was changed. They had painted an I between the existing letters. Now it read YEILD.About two months later they finally fixed it.The old lettering was painted over with black and freshly painted on top of that was the word STOP.
for me today
A new kind of
She had a wedding to go to, and needed a wedding gift. Aha, she thought, I have that monogrammed silver tray from my wedding that I never use. I'll just take it to a silversmith and have him remove my monogram and put hers on it. Voila, one cheap wedding present."She took it to the silversmith and asked him to remove her monogram and put the new one on. The silversmith examined the tray carefully, shook his head and said, "Lady, this can only be done so many times!"
Sighting #1: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when the airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" I said, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled and nodded knowingly, "That's why we ask."